Come Dance With Me.
My eyes drinking in the sunset-kissed bay, it would be nice for a shoulder to rest my contentedly gazing head upon.
My feet pounding upon the mountain trail, it would be nice to lock grinning eyes and playfully scramble a ridiculous adventure.
My mind fluttering throughout the day, seeing other couples holding hands, hearing details of wedding plans, wondering when my day will come that I am invited to shine as one beloved.
…then my eyes close, and I hear His whisper: I am with you. I am strong for you. I adore you. I painted this for you, beautiful one. Come dance with me.
…then my feet plant firmly upon the summit, and I stare in wide-eyed wonder at the world I’ve toiled to behold. I see His strength upholding the proud mountains, I see His grace in a soaring bird, I see His awesome love flooding the depths of the bay. I see who He is for me.
…then the wings of my mind quit their chaotic activity and sit stilly…and I look upward like a baby bird, wondering again who I am, and who I’m meant to be. I see His face, smiling upon my simple heart. Oh, my beloved, I see you; I know you; I’ve crafted you. Your day will come. Wait, and trust me for the good. Let me polish you to shine, unbelievably radiant, today.
I’ll gaze with Him. I’ll scramble with Him. I’ll dream with Him. I’ll dance with Him.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
My Daddy's King
I desire to GO, to flee, to proclaim to the nations most radically different than my own,
“Christ is the Treasure above all treasures. Delight yourself in God, and He will dance around you and make the glory of His Name be your highest joy.”
But, why?
My first thought is, because they need to hear it. The simple, seemingly barren lives of the precious faces in
Yet, isn’t that the same of folks in
Yes. And yes. And yet, even as I write this, the screen before me fades to images of skinny children bounding along dusty roads, of missionaries giggling as we splash across streams while toting projection equipment through the jungle, of nights spent silently cursing the howling dogs with my mind scheming of what creature might be perched on my mosquito net to greet me in the morning. Why do the deepest fibers of my soul long, gasp, cry out for this?
I feel almost guilty sometimes when people around me say, “well, people in
So then, the balance in my mind and heart is shifting. Though these romantic notions of distant lands do motivate me to work harder to earn my degree and to battle the suffocating culture of consumerism (which is good—shouldn’t all followers of Jesus live with an ever-emptying addiction to comfort and excess and self-preference, and an ever-increasing zeal for Heaven and for loosening the grip which we and the world have on each other and sharing in Christ’s afflictions…for this is the example which our Rabbi set!), the possibility that I might be tempted to pursue them at the expense of missing Christ pushes them to their rightful place. Though I rejoice with them, they are not worth more to me than having Christ and living to proclaim Him, regardless of the environment. He now speaks in me that He desires me—(well, actually it’s worthy of stopping there: He desires me. Even before considering His design of my work, the foundational, wonderful mystery is that He craves intimate joy in sharing life with me each moment! And it’s true for you too, ‘cause He values you and your love-flooded soul more than any product or works.)—to be willing to go wherever He sends me, but to trust that His good wisdom is far better than even my most precious desires. Whether He calls me to leave America for a distant land to serve and love and proclaim His Name there, or to stay right where I’m at and never touch foreign soil again (which would be far more difficult and require far more faith for me, I believe!), what truly matters is that Christ be my Treasure…neither to exalt the zealous dreams to live in third world communities, nor to lapse in lustful comfort in this familiar land of excess.
Oh yeah, what I learned today. With my church, we were celebrating at the end of our time together, singing “You fill my soul with Your Living Water and I am Your child.” As I considered those words in my joy-saturated mind, it hit me: I want to go to the nations because my Daddy is King over the whole earth. Every dusty pebble in
This hope drives me to pursue all of His Kingdom on earth, which is materialized in my mind as cross-cultural missions in destitute places. Certainly, it must have more to do with a child’s heart than their physical context, so what threatens the pursuit of full satisfaction in Him? Lack of awareness (or admittance) of needing Him to fill my heart. What things fuel ignorance and quench thirst for Living Water? The dead weight of the world, the dulling delusion of autonomy (which stealthily lurks in many familiar places), preference for created comforts over the Creator, lack of perceived purpose and mission. May I, and we, realize that we’re living in a battle, seriously take on our armor, stab these things and run from them!
My soul cries to know Christ more fully, to be emptied of all that dilutes my vivacity, to taste and see more of His created beauty and embrace suffering for His Name, and through it all, become more simply, ridiculously in love with my Savior. So I will run in the path He calls me down, whether I’m running with Peruvians or Washingtonians. What matters most is that our eyes are fixed on Christ, Who pioneered the narrow trail of faith and empowers us for every stride.
May all of us seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, knowing that all these little worries and details will be given to us as well (Matthew 6:33). May we echo Paul in admitting that “I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me” (Acts 20:24), for “nothing compares to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for Whose sake I have lost all things and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ” (Philippians 3:7-10). May we “resolve to know nothing but Christ Jesus and Him crucified” (1 Corinthians 2:2), live as ones who are “more than conquerors”, over all things, through Christ Who loves us with an untouchable love (Romans 8:31-39). May we live lives worthy of the calling we’ve received, to forsake habits that disgracefully disguise us as anxious creatures of this earth and be dressed in His righteousness as children of God, heirs with Christ of ETERNITY (1 Peter 1)—what have we to fear or hide from?! We’ve been liberated, we’re scandalously beloved and free! Let’s do this thing, by the power and love of Christ in us, our hope of glory (Colossians 1:27).
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Become a Dishwasher
The white-noise hum of the dishwasher breathes an air of careful diligence and faithful work into the room. I find its hum soothing and peace-inviting, restful constancy.
If you think about it, perhaps a microwave is more attractive: dumping volumes of intensity onto its subject and efficiently producing radical changes. Or, better yet, a pilot light on a stovetop: if you feel the inclination, surprise everyone by igniting and sustaining a reliable flame, but if you’d rather just flicker a greeting then retreat to lazy slumber, no one really expects you to put forth the effort for them anyway. (they’d really wanted to just microwave everything in the first place, right?) Ovens, I hardly use; they work so stealthfully that half the time the user forgets that they put cookies in there three hours ago. The user must constantly check on things, unsure whether their hopeful labor will produce goo or ashes, as ovens are frustratingly dependent on their settings and environment for effective manipulation.
What’s more, all of these typically make a big mess. (at least, when I use them). Explosions in the microwave, overflows and splatters across the stovetop, sticky pans and bulky baking sheets in the oven. Wouldn’t it be nice if users could put their minds at ease while starting an appliance, confident that things will turn out refreshingly pure and proper in the end, cleaning up the messes of the rest of your life?
I see before me the call to become more like a dishwasher. This will be my cycle: emptied by my Savior, filled with every good and fitting thing by my Master, infused with the powerful soap of the Spirit, and invited to start churning as God’s electricity initiates, sustains and determines how the penetrating work of the Spirit is completed.
Without being emptied of past refuse, I’m useless. Without being filled with projects and assignments by my King, I’m pointless. Without receiving the enablement of the Holy Spirit, I’m ineffective. Without determining my will to rally all of my being to churn and inspect and magnify the Spirit’s infiltrating power for everything I’m entrusted with, the job doesn’t get done!
Sure, God could handwash all of the little projects and tasks He might delegate to my labor. And I believe that He does and has, for often I have just not “felt” like churning, made excuses for letting things sit there, hoping that time will do the job or at least kick my gears in motion for me. Actually, God could simply speak, and it would be created. He could say, “greasy dish—be clean!!” and it would sparkle like a freshly polished pearl. Jesus could appear to those in my life, proving Himself to them in blinding power and put it in their hearts to drop all the stupid crap they’re pursuing and find life and hope and purpose in Him. He can open anyone’s eyes He chooses, in whatever manner He pleases—which is why I am amazed that He would take the extra care and effort to allow pathetic vessel s like me to experience the process. Oh, but I don’t want to take His sovereignty as an excuse for laziness; rather, how can I be most ready, willing, eager to participate?!
I sense as a call to grow in diligence. Microwave moments are exciting, feeling Him flood me with power and channeling it to immediately visible results (or, blowing something up). But to be a dishwasher, so much more could be done! I want to churn, learn, burn for the Gospel of His Truth, working with all my might to pour His love on every person my life is filled with until He says He’s changing it up, learning to work well with that Spirit which enables me for the task, diving deeper in to understanding the God Whose discernment to put people before me that He wants to cleanse and polish and know, learning to live this life where it’s so not about the silly dishwasher but where Christ in me is magnified and praised.
“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these He has given us His very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” --2 Peter 1:3-8
If you think about it, perhaps a microwave is more attractive: dumping volumes of intensity onto its subject and efficiently producing radical changes. Or, better yet, a pilot light on a stovetop: if you feel the inclination, surprise everyone by igniting and sustaining a reliable flame, but if you’d rather just flicker a greeting then retreat to lazy slumber, no one really expects you to put forth the effort for them anyway. (they’d really wanted to just microwave everything in the first place, right?) Ovens, I hardly use; they work so stealthfully that half the time the user forgets that they put cookies in there three hours ago. The user must constantly check on things, unsure whether their hopeful labor will produce goo or ashes, as ovens are frustratingly dependent on their settings and environment for effective manipulation.
What’s more, all of these typically make a big mess. (at least, when I use them). Explosions in the microwave, overflows and splatters across the stovetop, sticky pans and bulky baking sheets in the oven. Wouldn’t it be nice if users could put their minds at ease while starting an appliance, confident that things will turn out refreshingly pure and proper in the end, cleaning up the messes of the rest of your life?
I see before me the call to become more like a dishwasher. This will be my cycle: emptied by my Savior, filled with every good and fitting thing by my Master, infused with the powerful soap of the Spirit, and invited to start churning as God’s electricity initiates, sustains and determines how the penetrating work of the Spirit is completed.
Without being emptied of past refuse, I’m useless. Without being filled with projects and assignments by my King, I’m pointless. Without receiving the enablement of the Holy Spirit, I’m ineffective. Without determining my will to rally all of my being to churn and inspect and magnify the Spirit’s infiltrating power for everything I’m entrusted with, the job doesn’t get done!
Sure, God could handwash all of the little projects and tasks He might delegate to my labor. And I believe that He does and has, for often I have just not “felt” like churning, made excuses for letting things sit there, hoping that time will do the job or at least kick my gears in motion for me. Actually, God could simply speak, and it would be created. He could say, “greasy dish—be clean!!” and it would sparkle like a freshly polished pearl. Jesus could appear to those in my life, proving Himself to them in blinding power and put it in their hearts to drop all the stupid crap they’re pursuing and find life and hope and purpose in Him. He can open anyone’s eyes He chooses, in whatever manner He pleases—which is why I am amazed that He would take the extra care and effort to allow pathetic vessel s like me to experience the process. Oh, but I don’t want to take His sovereignty as an excuse for laziness; rather, how can I be most ready, willing, eager to participate?!
I sense as a call to grow in diligence. Microwave moments are exciting, feeling Him flood me with power and channeling it to immediately visible results (or, blowing something up). But to be a dishwasher, so much more could be done! I want to churn, learn, burn for the Gospel of His Truth, working with all my might to pour His love on every person my life is filled with until He says He’s changing it up, learning to work well with that Spirit which enables me for the task, diving deeper in to understanding the God Whose discernment to put people before me that He wants to cleanse and polish and know, learning to live this life where it’s so not about the silly dishwasher but where Christ in me is magnified and praised.
“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these He has given us His very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” --2 Peter 1:3-8
Saturday, May 9, 2009
"In my [_____], I cried to [_____]..."
Humans are in constant pursuit of something greater than themselves, aren't we?! As circumstances change in our little unstable lives, it seems that most people seek out something greater to find hope, meaning and security in. Think about how people from every walk of life are stunned alike when faced with the massive grandeur of the Grand Canyon, or the universal captivation by the almost supernatural performances in the Olympics. We're just so easy to impress :)
I believe that we instinctively turn to that source of hope in various instances. I could say that, "In my happiness, I cried to running" "In my fatigue, I cried to coffee" or "In my distress, I cried to the Internet", and those would all reflect how various emotions inspire my attention to focus on that greater thing, with my current state as an offering (and they would all be true).
"...[it] answered by [______]..."
Well, that's no surprise. The reason we look to something is for a response, right? Doesn't science claim that every action produces an equal and opposite reaction? In my happiness, I cry to [running] in faith that it will act to magnify my happiness. In my fatigue, I cry to [coffee] in faith that it will overpower my fatigue. In my distress, I cry to [the internet] because I believe that it will soothe and ease my distress. Our crying out is grounded in faith because we don't really know what it will do for us; I hope that coffee will overcome my fatigue, but sometimes it makes me feel more sick. I hope that going for a run through a beautiful trail will increase my happiness, but I risk tripping and spraining my ankle, being eaten by a grizzly bear, or just not running well and getting frustrated with myself--all of which would greatly reverse my happiness and make me wish I'd stayed on the couch. There's risk involved when we give some of ourselves to something beyond us...but we act in faith that our choice will give us the best return for our investment.
Really, though--how trustworthy is [whatever you turn to] to produce the desired result? Countless things could be plugged in to the linguistic equation to accurately depict anyone's habitual worship. Yeah, you read that right--I said worship. Truly, when I give myself (any of myself) to running, I am reinforcing its position as my highest value at that time (otherwise, why bother?!). I'm saying that it's worthy of what I'm giving, more than anything else (otherwise, I'd give it to that thing, right?!) I think that worship is basically recognizing something for what it inherently is, seeing its value, and acting in accordance.
I have cried to various things in joy, despair, emptiness, and longing. Yet each time I seem to end up in that same place of dissatisfaction, still aching for satiety and fulfillment. What's worse, I feel as though I become dehumanized in the process: less concerned about the things I know I care about, and more mindlessly indulging in pointless things. And I often even feel more enslaved by the day to that pursuit as I quickly forget what a full life is like.
I think that a guy David, writing 2,000+ years ago, put it well as he said that the idols of the world "have mouths, but cannot speak, eyes, but they cannot see; they have ears, but cannot hear, nor is there breath in their mouths. Those who make them will be like them, and so will all who trust in them." So true--we cry out, in faith that they will answer us as we desire; but they are truly mute and only serve as black holes to our humanity and dignity.
So what's the point? What matters? What can be inserted in that provocative statement that is trustworthy to produce the desired result? What even is that result?
For me, freedom has always been the desire. I crave freedom from stupid things of the world or society that clamp their slimy chains on me, I crave freedom from evil voices telling me that I'm not worthy as I am but must do [_____], I crave freedom from my own insatiably critical mind. I desire to live an enriched, full life; to love, laugh, dance, sing, cry, and feel...really living beyond the desperate limitations imposed by my crazy brain, in blessed self-forgetfulness, enjoying the beautiful world around me and living every moment to the fullest.
Today, this was my experience.
Blank #1: In my [despair]...yes, I was distraught, frustrated, feeling defeated.
Blank #2: In my despair, I cried to [food, rest, Internet wisdom]...in hopes that my physical weakness would be overcome by any tangible means I could look to. They only deepened my sorrow and frustration.
Later, however, I did something different. I got off the couch and took my sulking body outside to walk quietly in the glorious sunlight, with birds singing gladly all around and tall trees proudly displaying their strength. And I cried to the Lord. Letting go of my previous pursuits of other sources of hope, I emptied myself and cried to my Maker, the Giver of Life. My eyes poured forth tears, and my mouth rocked in laughter, as I was washed anew with the unsearchably rich love of my God, through Jesus Christ. This statement rang through my head (and inspired the above musings) and I will claim its Truth with my last breath:
In my [distress], I cried to [the Lord]; [He] answered by [setting me free]. (Psalm 118:5-6 NIV, ESV, Amplified)
*It gets even better: "The LORD is with me/on my side. I will not be afraid. What can anything in creation do to me?!"
NOTHING. The Creator is on your side, on your team, fighting for you. Therefore your only opposition can be something created by the Creator, such as a person, spirit, bacteria. Certainly those can all do good things as well as undeniably damaging things. But, the promise is that, though they can strike you down, they have no power to keep you down--you belong to the Mighty God of the Universe, and His perfect love fiercely casts out all fear. Can you think of something that can separate you from that love? Could trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? A broken family, failing health, unforseeable future? No, silly--in all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him Who loved us. So writes the most notorious persecutor of Christians (whose life was radically transformed by Jesus Himself): "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither heighth nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8)
Humans are in constant pursuit of something greater than themselves, aren't we?! As circumstances change in our little unstable lives, it seems that most people seek out something greater to find hope, meaning and security in. Think about how people from every walk of life are stunned alike when faced with the massive grandeur of the Grand Canyon, or the universal captivation by the almost supernatural performances in the Olympics. We're just so easy to impress :)
I believe that we instinctively turn to that source of hope in various instances. I could say that, "In my happiness, I cried to running" "In my fatigue, I cried to coffee" or "In my distress, I cried to the Internet", and those would all reflect how various emotions inspire my attention to focus on that greater thing, with my current state as an offering (and they would all be true).
"...[it] answered by [______]..."
Well, that's no surprise. The reason we look to something is for a response, right? Doesn't science claim that every action produces an equal and opposite reaction? In my happiness, I cry to [running] in faith that it will act to magnify my happiness. In my fatigue, I cry to [coffee] in faith that it will overpower my fatigue. In my distress, I cry to [the internet] because I believe that it will soothe and ease my distress. Our crying out is grounded in faith because we don't really know what it will do for us; I hope that coffee will overcome my fatigue, but sometimes it makes me feel more sick. I hope that going for a run through a beautiful trail will increase my happiness, but I risk tripping and spraining my ankle, being eaten by a grizzly bear, or just not running well and getting frustrated with myself--all of which would greatly reverse my happiness and make me wish I'd stayed on the couch. There's risk involved when we give some of ourselves to something beyond us...but we act in faith that our choice will give us the best return for our investment.
Really, though--how trustworthy is [whatever you turn to] to produce the desired result? Countless things could be plugged in to the linguistic equation to accurately depict anyone's habitual worship. Yeah, you read that right--I said worship. Truly, when I give myself (any of myself) to running, I am reinforcing its position as my highest value at that time (otherwise, why bother?!). I'm saying that it's worthy of what I'm giving, more than anything else (otherwise, I'd give it to that thing, right?!) I think that worship is basically recognizing something for what it inherently is, seeing its value, and acting in accordance.
I have cried to various things in joy, despair, emptiness, and longing. Yet each time I seem to end up in that same place of dissatisfaction, still aching for satiety and fulfillment. What's worse, I feel as though I become dehumanized in the process: less concerned about the things I know I care about, and more mindlessly indulging in pointless things. And I often even feel more enslaved by the day to that pursuit as I quickly forget what a full life is like.
I think that a guy David, writing 2,000+ years ago, put it well as he said that the idols of the world "have mouths, but cannot speak, eyes, but they cannot see; they have ears, but cannot hear, nor is there breath in their mouths. Those who make them will be like them, and so will all who trust in them." So true--we cry out, in faith that they will answer us as we desire; but they are truly mute and only serve as black holes to our humanity and dignity.
So what's the point? What matters? What can be inserted in that provocative statement that is trustworthy to produce the desired result? What even is that result?
For me, freedom has always been the desire. I crave freedom from stupid things of the world or society that clamp their slimy chains on me, I crave freedom from evil voices telling me that I'm not worthy as I am but must do [_____], I crave freedom from my own insatiably critical mind. I desire to live an enriched, full life; to love, laugh, dance, sing, cry, and feel...really living beyond the desperate limitations imposed by my crazy brain, in blessed self-forgetfulness, enjoying the beautiful world around me and living every moment to the fullest.
Today, this was my experience.
Blank #1: In my [despair]...yes, I was distraught, frustrated, feeling defeated.
Blank #2: In my despair, I cried to [food, rest, Internet wisdom]...in hopes that my physical weakness would be overcome by any tangible means I could look to. They only deepened my sorrow and frustration.
Later, however, I did something different. I got off the couch and took my sulking body outside to walk quietly in the glorious sunlight, with birds singing gladly all around and tall trees proudly displaying their strength. And I cried to the Lord. Letting go of my previous pursuits of other sources of hope, I emptied myself and cried to my Maker, the Giver of Life. My eyes poured forth tears, and my mouth rocked in laughter, as I was washed anew with the unsearchably rich love of my God, through Jesus Christ. This statement rang through my head (and inspired the above musings) and I will claim its Truth with my last breath:
In my [distress], I cried to [the Lord]; [He] answered by [setting me free]. (Psalm 118:5-6 NIV, ESV, Amplified)
*It gets even better: "The LORD is with me/on my side. I will not be afraid. What can anything in creation do to me?!"
NOTHING. The Creator is on your side, on your team, fighting for you. Therefore your only opposition can be something created by the Creator, such as a person, spirit, bacteria. Certainly those can all do good things as well as undeniably damaging things. But, the promise is that, though they can strike you down, they have no power to keep you down--you belong to the Mighty God of the Universe, and His perfect love fiercely casts out all fear. Can you think of something that can separate you from that love? Could trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? A broken family, failing health, unforseeable future? No, silly--in all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him Who loved us. So writes the most notorious persecutor of Christians (whose life was radically transformed by Jesus Himself): "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither heighth nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8)
Monday, February 23, 2009
Stress?!
Oh my goodness, LORD—I’m really fighting stress right now. (As You know, of course. You see me sitting in the computer lab—skipping class cause I’m freaking out—with moisture flooding my eyes, feeling so weak and small, frightened of the future and helplessly inept to control my body in the present.) I’m just realizing how much is coming up in my classes soon as far as group projects and papers…oh I’m scared of what’s to come, because it’s unknown to me and thus I don’t know if I can handle it or if I’ll end up getting my butt kicked and letting people down.
What do YOU say, LORD Almighty, God of the Ages? I don’t claim Your majestic titles out of jest but with weak hands feebly offering up the names that may seem empty but I am certain hold great, unforeseeably wondrous power. For Your divine power has given me everything I need for life and godliness through my knowledge of You Who called us by Your own glory and goodness. Through these You have given me Your very great and precious promises, so that through them we may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption of the world caused by evil desires. (2 Peter 1:3-4)
“But you, [wo]man of God, flee from all [lust for riches], and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. In the sight of God, Who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, Who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which God will bring about in His own time—God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, Who alone is immortal and Who lives in unapproachable light, Whom no one has seen or can see. To Him be honor and might forever. Amen.
Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, Who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.” (1 Timothy 6:11-19)
God, please gently pluck the future and control struggles I’m facing. I know that Paul was writing in regards to addictive desires for wealth, but I see the same principle holding true for other earthly riches such as academic success, physical health, secure future plans. ENOUGH with that stuff!? I have already received the key to all I could ever ask or imagine. I have already been born again into a new family, stripped of my old ways and form and made a new creation, given new birth into a living hope that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for us, who through faith are shielded by Your power until the coming of salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this, let me greatly rejoice, though now for a little while I may have to suffer grief in all kinds of trials…I know that they have come so that my faith—OF GREATER WORTH THAN GOLD—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though I don’t see You (like I see the deadlines approaching and snapping at me from the pages of my planner! How miniscule and finite they are in light of Your supremacy…), I LOVE YOU, and though I don’t see You now I believe in You and am filled with an INEXPRESSIBLE AND GLORIOUS JOY, for I am receiving the end result of my faith, the salvation of my soul! (1 Peter 1:3-9)
Because of this enlightening reality, renew my mind and give me the mind of Christ and make me alert and fully sober, setting my hope FULLY on the grace to be brought to me when Jesus Christ is revealed at Your coming. God, I can’t be holy in all that I do when I’m living in irreverent fear; pluck out my heart of stone and implant a heart of flesh that beats for what’s truly important, beating from my allegiance to the precious blood of Christ. I can’t love anyone (even myself) without Your grace and peace to be imparted to me. God, I don’t want to live one more second with this wrong way of thinking and worldly fear clouding my battle vision. Let not the threats of the kingdom of this world bind me and restrain me from living in the freedom which You bought me on the cross, for which You liberated me such that I might live a life worthy of the calling I’ve received. God, let me give not an ounce of fear, honor, respect, service, or love to nothing and nobody but YOU and You alone.
God, would you please make me worthy of Your calling, and by Your power please bring to fruition my every desire for goodness and my every deed prompted by faith. I pray this so that the Name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in us, and us in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Thess 1:11-12)
Let me not make myself the focus of this fight, this life, or this hope—but You, O Great Father and Precious Lamb. To You be the glory, honor and praise, now and forevermore. Amen.
What do YOU say, LORD Almighty, God of the Ages? I don’t claim Your majestic titles out of jest but with weak hands feebly offering up the names that may seem empty but I am certain hold great, unforeseeably wondrous power. For Your divine power has given me everything I need for life and godliness through my knowledge of You Who called us by Your own glory and goodness. Through these You have given me Your very great and precious promises, so that through them we may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption of the world caused by evil desires. (2 Peter 1:3-4)
“But you, [wo]man of God, flee from all [lust for riches], and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. In the sight of God, Who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, Who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which God will bring about in His own time—God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, Who alone is immortal and Who lives in unapproachable light, Whom no one has seen or can see. To Him be honor and might forever. Amen.
Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, Who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.” (1 Timothy 6:11-19)
God, please gently pluck the future and control struggles I’m facing. I know that Paul was writing in regards to addictive desires for wealth, but I see the same principle holding true for other earthly riches such as academic success, physical health, secure future plans. ENOUGH with that stuff!? I have already received the key to all I could ever ask or imagine. I have already been born again into a new family, stripped of my old ways and form and made a new creation, given new birth into a living hope that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for us, who through faith are shielded by Your power until the coming of salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this, let me greatly rejoice, though now for a little while I may have to suffer grief in all kinds of trials…I know that they have come so that my faith—OF GREATER WORTH THAN GOLD—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though I don’t see You (like I see the deadlines approaching and snapping at me from the pages of my planner! How miniscule and finite they are in light of Your supremacy…), I LOVE YOU, and though I don’t see You now I believe in You and am filled with an INEXPRESSIBLE AND GLORIOUS JOY, for I am receiving the end result of my faith, the salvation of my soul! (1 Peter 1:3-9)
Because of this enlightening reality, renew my mind and give me the mind of Christ and make me alert and fully sober, setting my hope FULLY on the grace to be brought to me when Jesus Christ is revealed at Your coming. God, I can’t be holy in all that I do when I’m living in irreverent fear; pluck out my heart of stone and implant a heart of flesh that beats for what’s truly important, beating from my allegiance to the precious blood of Christ. I can’t love anyone (even myself) without Your grace and peace to be imparted to me. God, I don’t want to live one more second with this wrong way of thinking and worldly fear clouding my battle vision. Let not the threats of the kingdom of this world bind me and restrain me from living in the freedom which You bought me on the cross, for which You liberated me such that I might live a life worthy of the calling I’ve received. God, let me give not an ounce of fear, honor, respect, service, or love to nothing and nobody but YOU and You alone.
God, would you please make me worthy of Your calling, and by Your power please bring to fruition my every desire for goodness and my every deed prompted by faith. I pray this so that the Name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in us, and us in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Thess 1:11-12)
Let me not make myself the focus of this fight, this life, or this hope—but You, O Great Father and Precious Lamb. To You be the glory, honor and praise, now and forevermore. Amen.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Fixing our eyes...
I love how God teaches us :)
I was singing at morning sing the other day, and began feeling strangely embarrassed. As my mouth was declaring praises of (and, supposedly, to) the Almighty God, my inner spirit was troubled and simply ashamed that I was being seen doing what I was doing.
Afterward, I was troubled and spent time questioning why I had been feeling that way. Why should I be sensing embarrassment upon looking past my wonderful group of siblings in Christ to discover that other people happened to be around too?!
A couple of verses flew across my mind:
“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of God.” (Gal 1:10)
“I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.” (Rom 1:16)
And this one made me feel real good—Jesus says: “"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when he comes in his Father's glory with the holy angels." (Mark 8:34-38)
Whew. Convicting? Undoubtedly. Helpful? Potentially.
I don’t know how many people are like myself in this, but here’s how it has traditionally gone:
Whoa, that’s something super wrong about me. Wow, that’s really wrong…dang, I suck at life. Why did I let that happen? That’s totally not right, not what God would be pleased with for sure.
Essentially: conviction --> guilt --> chasing my tail around that guilt level. Trust me: I can think for a long time and give myself some pretty good lectures on that guilt level.
But do we ever move from there?
Here’s the thing I’m realizing: focusing on the guilt or imperfection is making it all about me. This trend can be extrapolated to other aspects of life as a disciple of Jesus: I used to think that Christianity was mostly about sacrifice. I was okay with that—I’m a runner, and in a twisted way I enjoy that feeling of struggle, challenge, endurance. I can follow the rules well enough, I know the reasons why drugs and extramarital sex and horrible movies are bad for you…I’ve grown accustomed to the idea of denying myself things that my peers pursue.
But what if life isn’t about what we deny ourselves of, so much as what we embrace? What if we’re not to live constantly analyzing the darkness, but fixing our eyes on the glorious light that’s about to rush in?
After a shopping trip, do people stare at the empty place in their wallet where the $20 bill had been, or show off their new shirt or pop in that new DVD?
Why isn’t it like that with Jesus?
Gosh, self, stop asking that Q already—go back to your thesis: don’t keep dwelling on what’s to be given up, but be freed to embrace what you’ve been given!
Two mornings later, back in
It’s echoed in an incredible passage, check it: Colossians 2 9-10*: “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.”
DANG! I’ve received Jesus!...Who is all the incomprehensible fullness of God…and because I’ve got Him, I’m full and undeniably complete too!
Suddenly everything else begins to seem really tiny. Yet so filled with a different, more lasting worth. I know that I’ve been given Jesus…I just hardly have begun to learn what that means! But I do pray that's where my focus remains.
Thank You, God, for Your gift of life and blessings upon blessings which You choose to pour out upon us, simply because You love us. Thank You for longsuffering patience with me, and please help me to focus on what’s bigger than myself and notice what You’re eager to give me (if blessing, then praise; if hardship, then power to stand!), to be still and know that You are God. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, and please reveal Yourself to captivate my eyes to stay fixed on You! To You be the glory, both now and forevermore. Amen.
Sometimes, He calms the storm…other times, He calms His child.
*Amplified Bible version—helps me get more clarity: “For in Him the whole fullness of Deity (the Godhead) continues to dwell in bodily form [giving complete expression of the divine nature]. And you are in Him, made full and having come to fullness of life [in Christ you too are filled with the Godhead--Father, Son and Holy Spirit--and reach full spiritual stature]. And He is the Head of all rule and authority [of every angelic principality and power].
Friday, January 2, 2009
New Year's Re-resolution
I've never really been one for New Year's resolutions; I guess I've made them in the past, but only because everyone else was doing it and I had to have something to share when my turn came around. This time, I began realizing a couple of days before Jan 1 that I tend to cut corners sometimes. I hardly ever catch myself doing things that most of my peers would consider to be outright "wrong", and when I do cut a corner it's usually because I'm erring on the side of laziness as I listen to my shoulder angel and shoulder devil argue about what's really best. Like, at the gym when I finish running and I don't feel like getting the cleaning stuff--I didn't really touch the handles, so it's no big deal; or at work, when I pre-bus and dump empty plates in the dishwashing station and don't feel like washing my hands for the zillionth time that hour--I might resolve my inner conflict with a 5 sec handwash; or driving over the speed limit because everyone else is or the roads are clear so why should I not be most efficient? I think that most people would consider these actions "no big deal", perhaps not worthy of mention. But at the end of the day, when I walk out of the gym or work or my car, I want to be pure, not feeling guilty because I chose to take a risk and not do what's right.
Why do I even have such a hard time writing about it? I was stuck for a minute on "not feeling guilty because ___". I said "not do what's right"--why didn't I say "because I acted wrongly?" why do I see those actions as merely a step down from purity--what's the definition of purity or cleanliness?! Impurity is not a "step down", it's a glaring opposite!
The reasons that usually end up driving me to "go the extra mile" and just do what's right (what incredible lies I believe!? when did simply adhering to an expectation become so rare and extraordinary?) are because of fear of who might be around me and what they might be thinking. At the gym, I imagine someone seeing me leave without cleaning the machine, and maybe they know me from class or have randomly had a convo about faith in which I might've shared what Truth drives my passions, decisions, purpose, thoughts, everyday life. Then they see me ignore a simple mandate by the rec center staff, one that they might honor by conviction, and then my example as a witness is shot. At work, there might be a secret shopper spy from Corporate sitting at the table just behind the sink who is counting the seconds of my handwash to include in the report to my boss (truly, it's did we as a restaurant fail or pass?). I'm not just representing myself, but the whole staff of the RTC Red Robin.
Really, that's how it will be at the end of days, right? I'm not just representing myself, but my defining title of "CHRISTIAN" means that I bear the name of Jesus across my body and stamped on everything I do and say. 1 John 1:5-7 says "This is the message we have heard from [Jesus] and declare to you: God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with Him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from every sin."
I told one of my old friends about my resolution to always do what's right rather than cutting corners. They replied, "oh, so you want to be perfect, as opposed to just almost perfect?!"
I was thinking about that later, and relating it to why I don't do what's right (why I don't live up to that perfect standard) all the time. It seems to come down to pride; if I do what's right, I take pride in what a noble person I am. If I don't do what's right, it's because my prideful self is trying to out-reason the established rule and makes me justify my action based on my thinking.
How can I even claim to love--much less, to genuinely love--those in authority over me if I spit on their rules? My bosses, my parents; how can I be an example of Christ's love and hope for a new and fulfilling life if I turn around and show that I dishonor them by ignoring their rules for me? 2 John 6 is just one of many verses that link love and obedience as fundamentally joined. "And this is love: that we walk in obedience to [God's] commands..."
The levels to which this is important I have barely begun to recognize. I finally thought about how important this will be in my marriage. I cannot truly love someone if I secretly think I'm better than them, which I realized was happening with someone in my family. Even if their rules seem stupid to me, I must submit and obey them because I deeply want to love the person more. Again, when I don't obey this person it's because I entertain thoughts to justify ignoring the rule, but that makes me feel that I'm smarter or better than them, which hinders my love. I don't want to have that happen anymore in my family, and I never want it to have a place in marriage! Even if my husband's thought might seem strange to me, it would be so destructive for me to try to (behind his back) out-reason from a perspective of pride rather than humility. At the end of the day, I am given the calling to humbly submit to my husband, who is given the responsibility of humbly leading me in love. "Pride puffs up; love builds up." God, help me start practicing now!
In conclusion, after all the digressions about pride and obedience (barely got started thinking about love!), my re-resolution in response to my friend's comment is that every day I want to ask God to help me live rightly, for I cannot do it on my own (and if I think I do, I'll just get proud). He must help me be humble so that I can listen and hear His directives on how to live rightly, He must overcome my inner flesh screaming against the loving obedience, He must continue to show me that living perfectly is what He has called me to as a born-again child of the Light of Life, Who radiates glory from the awesome Throne in Heaven. I am His servant, and as Luke 17 exemplifies, "when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'we are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.' "
God, help me to live a life worthy of the calling I've received, by Your power and grace, for Your glory, forever and ever. Amen.
Why do I even have such a hard time writing about it? I was stuck for a minute on "not feeling guilty because ___". I said "not do what's right"--why didn't I say "because I acted wrongly?" why do I see those actions as merely a step down from purity--what's the definition of purity or cleanliness?! Impurity is not a "step down", it's a glaring opposite!
The reasons that usually end up driving me to "go the extra mile" and just do what's right (what incredible lies I believe!? when did simply adhering to an expectation become so rare and extraordinary?) are because of fear of who might be around me and what they might be thinking. At the gym, I imagine someone seeing me leave without cleaning the machine, and maybe they know me from class or have randomly had a convo about faith in which I might've shared what Truth drives my passions, decisions, purpose, thoughts, everyday life. Then they see me ignore a simple mandate by the rec center staff, one that they might honor by conviction, and then my example as a witness is shot. At work, there might be a secret shopper spy from Corporate sitting at the table just behind the sink who is counting the seconds of my handwash to include in the report to my boss (truly, it's did we as a restaurant fail or pass?). I'm not just representing myself, but the whole staff of the RTC Red Robin.
Really, that's how it will be at the end of days, right? I'm not just representing myself, but my defining title of "CHRISTIAN" means that I bear the name of Jesus across my body and stamped on everything I do and say. 1 John 1:5-7 says "This is the message we have heard from [Jesus] and declare to you: God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with Him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from every sin."
I told one of my old friends about my resolution to always do what's right rather than cutting corners. They replied, "oh, so you want to be perfect, as opposed to just almost perfect?!"
I was thinking about that later, and relating it to why I don't do what's right (why I don't live up to that perfect standard) all the time. It seems to come down to pride; if I do what's right, I take pride in what a noble person I am. If I don't do what's right, it's because my prideful self is trying to out-reason the established rule and makes me justify my action based on my thinking.
How can I even claim to love--much less, to genuinely love--those in authority over me if I spit on their rules? My bosses, my parents; how can I be an example of Christ's love and hope for a new and fulfilling life if I turn around and show that I dishonor them by ignoring their rules for me? 2 John 6 is just one of many verses that link love and obedience as fundamentally joined. "And this is love: that we walk in obedience to [God's] commands..."
The levels to which this is important I have barely begun to recognize. I finally thought about how important this will be in my marriage. I cannot truly love someone if I secretly think I'm better than them, which I realized was happening with someone in my family. Even if their rules seem stupid to me, I must submit and obey them because I deeply want to love the person more. Again, when I don't obey this person it's because I entertain thoughts to justify ignoring the rule, but that makes me feel that I'm smarter or better than them, which hinders my love. I don't want to have that happen anymore in my family, and I never want it to have a place in marriage! Even if my husband's thought might seem strange to me, it would be so destructive for me to try to (behind his back) out-reason from a perspective of pride rather than humility. At the end of the day, I am given the calling to humbly submit to my husband, who is given the responsibility of humbly leading me in love. "Pride puffs up; love builds up." God, help me start practicing now!
In conclusion, after all the digressions about pride and obedience (barely got started thinking about love!), my re-resolution in response to my friend's comment is that every day I want to ask God to help me live rightly, for I cannot do it on my own (and if I think I do, I'll just get proud). He must help me be humble so that I can listen and hear His directives on how to live rightly, He must overcome my inner flesh screaming against the loving obedience, He must continue to show me that living perfectly is what He has called me to as a born-again child of the Light of Life, Who radiates glory from the awesome Throne in Heaven. I am His servant, and as Luke 17 exemplifies, "when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'we are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.' "
God, help me to live a life worthy of the calling I've received, by Your power and grace, for Your glory, forever and ever. Amen.
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